When we fall in love, we let that love cloud our judgment, leading to us forgiving behaviors we usually wouldn’t tolerate. But, when that relationship comes to an end, we often blame ourselves for not making it work, or for not leaving sooner. You see, men tend to screw up, we all do. But if he screws up on a daily basis and does nothing to change it, maybe that’s more than a screw-up. That’s just a part of who he is and there’s really nothing we can do, besides leave.
1. Never talking about your future together
If your partner refuses to talk about your future plans, that could be a great red flag. That means he doesn’t plan on committing to you. Those plans don’t have to be a wedding or engagement; he usually avoids talking about you two in the future tense or talking about future dates.
2. Refusing to talk about feelings
If your partner is emotionally closed off and refuses to talk about his feelings, his past or the things troubling him, that might be a sign that he’s hiding something big from his past or he doesn’t want you to know any of it simply because he’s not planning on sticking around.
3. Not caring about your past
When people care about each other, they are interested in finding out what makes you you, what your childhood looked like, what your biggest fears and loves are. They genuinely care about you and everything you’ve been through. But if your man never asks about your past or doesn’t listen when you talk, that may be a sign he only sees you as a thing, not a person (arm candy, booty call…).
4. Not caring about what you want
If your needs are not respected, he doesn’t care about your happiness. It’s as simple as that. He’s with you only to make him feel good about himself, not because he genuinely cares about you.
5. Going straight for the nuclear option during arguments
Ending a relationship is one way to quickly settle an argument, but if your partner constantly threatens to end it, you no longer feel safe in that relationship. You no longer enjoy the time you spend together because of the fear that another argument and a chance for him to end things might pop up.
Shutting down during an argument or in simple conversations about ‘deeper’ stuff makes obtaining a long-term relationship practically impossible. You don’t feel like any issues are being resolved and there’s no way of developing that connection needed to keep your relationship a healthy one.
7. Never taking the blame for anything
When your partner constantly blames others, including you, for any misfortunes that happen to him, that means he has difficulty taking responsibility for his actions.
8. Constantly seeking attention
You are supposed to be dating a grown-up man, not a baby. And if your partner needs constant attention, love and praise, it can be exhausting and embarrassing.
9. Disrespecting you in front of your friends
Does this one really require any more of an explanation? Respect is everything in a relationship, and without it, a relationship is doomed. We all need to feel appreciated and respected, no exceptions. And if your partner tends to make fun of your flaws only to make himself look better, you don’t need that kind of bullshit in your life.
10. Downplaying your accomplishments
When your partner undermines your accomplishments or efforts, it shows how deeply insecure he is. This kind of person sees everything as kind of a competition and needs you to fail in order for him to feel good about himself.
11. Displaying extreme jealousy
Extreme jealousy is kind of a toxic behavior which should not be tolerated. Him going through your texts and emails, and controlling you or the time you spend with your friends are not signs of him caring about you. Those are signs you are in a toxic relationship and that you need to leave ASAP.
Gaslighting is when your partner makes you feel crazy by lying to make you feel that what you experienced didn’t actually happen or that what you’re asking for in a relationship is unreasonable and ridiculous. This behavior can be incredibly damaging to you as a person and it’s also one of the signs you might be in a toxic relationship.
13. Privacy much?
If your boyfriend is always carrying his phone with him, even when he’s on the toilet, and hangs up the moment you enter the room, he might be hiding something from you. He asks you to respect his privacy, it’s just his privacy includes practically everything he’s doing while you’re not together.
14. You feel isolated in your own relationship
His manipulative behavior has isolated you from your friends and family. His constant need of your attention has guilt-pressured you to stay with him ALL the time, but you’re starting to feel trapped inside.
15. He talks about changing – you
You’re the one that needs to change in a relationship, not him?? He keeps talking about how you would look better wearing pink or wearing your hair up even though you like black and your hair down? Screw him, you don’t have to change for anyone, because there’s a reason you are like that. Your choices and experiences molded you into this amazing masterpiece who shouldn’t change for anyone.